Fiction by Devan Rodriguez
Under Falling Snow
A man sits in a confession booth in an abandoned church. The stained-glass windows are removed and replaced with wooden boards. The building is covered in street art, not well done. The confession booth is no exception. The floor is damp and there is a faint amount of light getting through the walls of the church. He is alone.
Marcus: (catching his breath) Well? I’m here, I know you’re watching me. Never stopped, you probably already know what I’m going to say. I had no choice, it was cold, really cold. It’s been cold for a while. Hasn’t stop snowing all day. Hell, there's some snowflakes falling on me as we speak. (Dusts off his pants) I was far from here, real far from here. Down by Kassuthe, not too many abandoned places ‘round there. Not any at all actually. I’ve been ‘round there a couple times the past few weeks. I met someone, a girl. We met a couple weeks ago. Nice girl, real nice girl for the most part. (Smiles and looks down) Get this, we met at a library, down by Kassuthe. I was looking for a job and my homeboy said they don’t drug test there, his cousin used to work up there, Tim’mo. Yeah well, I went there and I was dressed all yuppie with a clean shirt and such. Tim’mo actually lent me the threads. I saw her at the counter with a bunch of books, hot little cutie so I grabbed a book off a shelf and went to go check her out. (Laughs) We hit it off right away, she had these eyes. God damn these eyes. Make ya wanna settle down and do things right. I ain’t tell her I was looking for a job that day. She didn’t look like the type-a girl that ya know falls for a guy like me. But, hell she fell for me. And I wanted to give her everything. (Starts twisting his hat) We hung out for a while and she was a good girl. Like a real good girl. Clean, smart, young girl that ain’t ever touch a drug in her life. A girl that gets drunk off a wine cooler. A girl that really REALLY hates drugs. (Pauses) I quit for her, hah. Yeah girl I knew for a many a week at the time. I told everyone I was done. They didn’t believe me until I traded the last of my stash for some more of Tim’mo’s clothes. Everyone was calling me whipped and what not, I didn’t care I guess. I thought I could use this as a way to really like do something. Something good for myself. It went well for a couple weeks. I lived at her place ‘round Kassuthe for a couple weeks. Was it you who was sending all those snow storms? I should’ve seen it as a sign. (Looks up) I didn’t want it to end. (Pauses) I went out with Gee the night before. I was good I was clean for a whole week. Told Liz that I was at work late that night. Stupid. Fuckin’ stupid. I went over to Gee’s had some H. Gee called the next day ‘n said he left a baggie in my backpack. I told them never to call me. (Throws his hat) I’ll kill that cunt if I see him again, kick his teeth right into place. She found that shit in my bag and kicked me right outta bed and into the streets, yellin’ and hittin’ and cryin’. Fuck (Tears up slightly) I tried to talk to her, but she just wouldn’t listen, she was just so angry. It was snowin’, she ain’t care tho. Lucky enough I grabbed a coat and my boots on the way out. God dammit, I just want to run over to Gee’s and kill em. I didn’t have my phone, no money. Nothin’, I just started walkin’. I didn’t know my way around there. I looked for hours for a place to crash and set my head straight. I looked and looked, it snowed so hard. (Pauses, wipes growing tears) Yuppie houses and crap everywhere. I even checked to see if cars were unlocked, I was desperate. I found a car unlocked and dug my way in. I laid right down onto the floor of that car, It was fuckin cold but I just tried to hold myself together. It snowed so hard the car was covered again within hours. Couldn’t even tell someone broke in far as I knew. I lasted to the morning covered myself in the clothes and junk in the back to keep warm. (Ignores the snow growing on him) It was so cold though, the storm was still hittin’. But, I guess someone needed to get somewhere. Someone got into the car and I tried not to move, I tried to be as quiet as I could I tried. (Starts sobbing) She started yelling. I jumped up and grabbed her yuppie mouth. I’m sorry, I tried talking to her. I told her I just wanted to get out the storm. I told her I wasn’t bad guy, I tried my hardest, but she really wanted me out. I could see anything outside that car. Nothin’ that storm was ragin’ on with no end in sight. I know it was wrong but she was tryn-a honk the horn and grab her phone. We fought for that phone she was scratchin’ my face and crap, but I eventually got the door open and pushed her out. (Sobs harder) The keys were already in and I tried to floor it out of there, but that bitch was crazy. She jumped right in front of the car. I didn’t mean to, I couldn’t swerve or anything. One second she jumped in front of the car another second her head smacked the windshield. I’m so sorry, Ma. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to get outta there, outa that storm. I didn’t stop I just went. I came all the way here. I don’t know how much time I got before I’m found. I hope you forgive me mama. I’m sorry.